Patience

"I'm waiting as fast as I can!" Hands down, that's one of of my favorite quotes. It's not mine, but I share that sentiment with the little girl who coined it. Patience and I couldn't be more opposite. I've had the thought that had my parents named me Patience, I'd be a walking contradiction. Cringe. I'm pretty sure I would have changed my name the second I was able to.
I have noticed though, the lessons you hate the most are the ones you need the most. For this cause, lessons to work on this attribute keeps occurring, so I've been trying...harder. "Try harder" is my natural bent. The problem with "try harder" is that it never really works for me. Where patience concerned it seems especially counter productive. One thought emerging out of this whole thing, is just how unattractive a quality impatience is. It's at the root of anger issues, and is dripping with pride. I used to think that I am pretty flexible person, but how can you be both impatient and flexible? I recognize that change is necessary, so where do I begin? I have no idea! What seems to work best for me is to take it one day at a time. If it were up to me or I could have, I would have fixed this along time ago. I now realize, that if God shows you a problem, He'll help you fix it. I guess that's what some would call surrender. What I do know is, I can't fake patience. I remember hearing and reading in James (1:2-4) that when you ask for patience, you'll get tested. I can corroborate, it's true! Once I made the connection I stopped asking God for patience. I did however attempt to trick Him by asking that He "help me show patience." How do you show a quality you scarcely possess? I guess I was hoping that he would magically zap me with it. He didn't. Looks like God is not going to give up on this lesson, so I'll bow the knee again and learn something new. Patience.