Reset. Ready. Go!
There is some strange and delicate balance between ample effort and adequate rest. I have struggled to find it. There are days when I am altogether pleased with my accomplishments. There is a certain peace in the pride accompanying that. I find purpose and fulfillment in productive days. I've never been proud of a rest day. I've been excited about having one, but never proud. This realization makes me uncomfortably aware of the edge I've assigned to personal efforts.
Lately, I've been navigating a slump. I'm reaching for something indefinable. How to attain it is even more elusive. All I know is I want to do more with whatever God given time and abilities I possess. I want to learn, and grow. This desire comes coupled with a sense of urgency. It's given birth to intrigue and frustration. How do you begin something quickly when you don't know what it is? It's a deserted junction. There are no answers here. There is just a desperation to begin something grand, and to use rest as a force to do so. The latter seems more daunting. It's an incredibly foreign idea. It perfectly suits this foreign terrain I'm traversing. It has directed my focus to the disparity between God's power and human effort.
In my nearly forty years, I have yet to feel like I'm doing "it." I have those moments, and I do feel more that way in some pockets of my life than others. However, there are those pockets that are empty. What does it take to be completely fulfilled, and running over? Perhaps it's idealistic, but I want that. I completely believe that we were all given talents. Those talents work in concert for the salvation, and betterment of mankind. To die without exhausting those gifts is an absolute tragedy, and robbery. Who knows what we could have done, and who we could have affected? What treasures are we sitting on, hiding? Perhaps we are not meant to change the world in one swift action, but if we can bring about supernatural changes in our individual worlds, we change the world by ripple effect extension.
It seems I can define what I want after all. Apparently, I want world domination. I want my world dominated by the love of God in and though me via the talents He's placed in me. There! Does that sound like too much to ask? Truly, it's not. It depends on who I'm asking. If I ask it of myself, and my efforts, it's impossible. If I ask it of the Lord, no problem. He has absolute power, and it literally makes all the difference in the world. It's not my job to figure out how it gets done. He's the one who promised to do more than we could ask or/imagine-Ephesians 3:20. I'm not afraid to ask, and He's given me a big imagination. I believe He's going to exceed it.
I thought not write this. I did because I promised you truth. This is not for everyone. I don't know where you are, but I am at the beginning of a journey. Perhaps you are too. Mine requires that I rest from human effort to go forward. I hope you are wise and discover what yours requires of you. Regardless, you are invited to join me. Pray with/for me. Let's agree with God together.
I cannot do this by human effort. It's unattainable. I have to begin where He tells me, and that is to begin by resting in Him. This is new to me. Rest to pursue. It's contradictory. Earlier I called it foreign. It is. It's Kingdom of Heaven foreign, and He has been saying all along.
Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. I believe this literally means, He (GOD) will give you desires, as in place them in your heart and He will bring those desires to pass.
What do I do with my now? My life? Where? How? When Lord? These can be overwhelming questions. The answer is still the same. Start by trusting God. Do what He says. Delight in Him. Seek His kingdom first -Matthew 6:33. That begins the change in our own little kingdoms. Want to change our world? Then we must confront and change our thinking. Sure, work, but only according to His will, and not to the detriment of our delight in Him. It's absolute transfer of trust from our own abilities to the limitless possibilities of God. This truly is the beginning of God's greatness in us.
So this is where you me find today. I've slowed. I'm settling in and catching my breath in a race that requires I run it with patience. It is not a power sprint of human effort. It is an endurance event. It requires rest, renewal and conservation of energy where necessary. This rest is not passive. It requires resilience. It is not a call to laziness. It is a call to listen, to learn, to watch, to pray, and then to do things God's way. It is His "Kingdom come" to earth. It is a journey in patience. It is powered by trust and peace in the absolute love and goodness of the all wise, powerful God. I work where He shows me, but a vital exchange has finally been made. I lay aside the work of my hands. I rest in Him and the complete work of His hands.