You Versus You
What motivates you? No, I mean what really motivates you? I've been asking myself this question in an effort to make sure my actions are pure. I hate the idea of doing, or not doing anything based on something or someone else. To me, that's control, and I'm not in habit of handing control of my decisions over to others. Go ahead, call me a control freak. I'm OK with the label.
I'm not saying that I don't appreciate good advice, or sound counsel. I do. I just try not to live in the bondage of another person's expectation, or action. I'm free. The hallmark of freedom is a pure choice. It doesn't have to be the right choice, just an honest one. For the most part I have been able to practice this. I try to choose the things I HONESTLY want, not what others want for me, or what others are doing. My motivation comes from me. I'm not trying to be like anyone else, and I'm not in competition with anyone but me. It's me verses me. That's the way it should be....or so I thought.
I just read a verse in the bible "but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise." 2 Corinthians 10:12.
That verse shifted my focus back to the fact that it's not always "me versus me." There is a MUCH standard higher than my own. God's. Turns out He and I are often divorced in our views. When it comes right down to it, I can never do what He does, or did, but I'm supposed to be more like Him. That means that my actions though performed by me, should look more like Him/His. Not easy, considering He said things like "love your enemies, and do good to them that hate you." Lots of things come to mind when I think of an enemy, but I assure you "love" isn't high on the list! I've got a long way to go before I can get excited about doing "good to those who hate me."
Anyhow, all that to say that I'm trying ever so hard to take a backseat in my life, to get out of my way and over myself. I still conform to my "you versus you" mantra in certain areas where it naturally applies like finances, fitness,etc. It' not an all together bad idea, and I truly don't need to impress or satisfy anyone outside of myself. I'm just trying to keep in mind that there is more to this equation than me. While it may feel good, and even right to say, "I'm going to do the best I can" if I'm honest I'll say, "God do the best YOU can with me." It's a surrender to a standard higher than my own, which also happens to be the "best" for me.