The Homeschool Beat Goes On...

In the last few weeks I haven't felt like doing much of anything. That is, I haven't felt like doing the things I know I need to do. Last week it seemed appropriate to reduce our work load given the activities we had planned, we did. This week is a bit different. I don't have a legitimate excuse, I just don't want to face the litany of things that fall under the umbrella of my responsibilities. Homeschooling happens to be one of them. There is no question that if I decided we should take the week off my student would celebrate with her own personal parade, and actually so would I. There are so many ways in which I can use the time, but common sense an logic prevailed, so she, and I are forced to do school this week. This whole scenario got me thinking about the importance doing the right thing despite my feelings. That's a true mark maturity; mastering your feelings, allowing your brain to tell your body how it's going to be, not the other way around.
We'll that's what I'm getting out of this week as we struggle through it. My child on the other hand would rather we take the week off, and I keep the lecture on the importance of discipline to myself, so I thought I'd share it with you.

You Versus You

What motivates you?  No, I mean what really motivates you? I've been asking myself this question in an effort to make sure my actions are pure. I hate the idea of doing, or not doing anything based on something or someone else. To me, that's control, and I'm not in habit of handing control of my decisions over to others. Go ahead, call me a control freak. I'm OK with the label.
I'm not saying that I don't appreciate good advice, or sound counsel. I do. I just try not to live in the bondage of another person's expectation, or action. I'm free. The hallmark of freedom is a pure choice. It doesn't have to be the right choice, just an honest one. For the most part I have been able to practice this. I try to choose the things I HONESTLY want, not what others want for me, or what others are doing. My motivation comes from me. I'm not trying to be like anyone else, and I'm not in competition with anyone but me. It's me verses me. That's the way it should be....or so I thought.
I just read a verse in the bible "but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise." 2 Corinthians 10:12.
That verse shifted my focus back to the fact that it's not always "me versus me." There is a MUCH standard higher than my own. God's. Turns out He and I are often divorced in our views. When it comes right down to it, I can never do what He does, or did, but I'm supposed to be more like Him. That means that my actions though performed by me, should look more like Him/His. Not easy, considering He said things like "love your enemies, and do good to them that hate you." Lots of things come to mind when I think of an enemy, but I assure you "love" isn't high on the list! I've got a long way to go before I can get excited about doing "good to those who hate me."
Anyhow, all that to say that I'm trying ever so hard to take a backseat in my life, to get out of my way and over myself. I still conform to my "you versus you" mantra in certain areas where it naturally applies like finances, fitness,etc. It' not an all together bad idea, and I truly don't need to impress or satisfy anyone outside of myself. I'm just trying to keep in mind that there is more to this equation than me. While it may feel good, and even right to say, "I'm going to do the best I can" if I'm honest I'll say, "God do the best YOU can with me." It's a surrender to a standard higher than my own, which also happens to be the "best" for me.

"Easy"

Lionel Richie is not alone. I think I'm also "easy like Sunday morning." 

This morning I went for a run in and around my neighborhood. The smell of fall in the air had been replaced by the smell of bacon and eggs. Apparently that was the breakfast of choice this October morning. I finished my run, and came home to find that the hubby had prepared my breakfast. He also fixed bacon and eggs. All smiles over here. I LOVE Sundays.

I'm not a personal trainer. I just love fitness. Sweating puts me in my happy place. While others might take pleasure in crafting, I'd rather put together a workout to torch my obliques. It's the only kind of research I enjoy. Actually, there isn't a lot of research involved anymore. There are so many great sites available now. Oh, and did I mention You Tube??? Truth is, I find it hard to narrow down what I want to do. I'm really like a kid in a candy store. In addition to fitness there is also a wide range of nutrition programs to choose from.

This is the time of year when most people relax, let go and gain a little. Instead, I'd like to encourage you to do the opposite. Take this time and set a new goal for yourself. Get fit. Get strong. Lose weight. Whatever your goal, get moving. No excuses. No regrets.  

Fashion For "Tweenagers???"

Too childish

Too grown

Over the past year, and particularly in the past few months, my twelve year old looks like she's grown about a  foot! No joke, one day it seemed I was looking down to talk to this child, the next day I'm looking up as she speaks to me. Fortunately (for her) the most recent growth spurt requires a complete wardrobe overhaul. Yep, she gets to go shopping. She's pretty stoked! In preparation for the occasion, she's been looking at the type of clothes she'd like to have. This has been an eye opener for me. It turns out there are plenty of choices for younger girls (under 10) and teenagers, but not so much for this 11-12 in between age. The children's stuff is too childish, and  teenage stuff is a bit too mature looking.  To complicate matters, I've given her an assignment:" think about the message you want to send with your clothing." Hmm... so now she has to not only find age appropriate clothing, which hardly exist (google  clothing for 12 year old girls if you think I'm kidding), but it has send the right "message."  Oh, and did I mention she is going through a "I hate dresses phase?" Wish BOTH of us luck. We are going to need it...

Getting Older

I recently celebrated a birthday. Someone in conversation, commented that "I'm getting older" and "I'm not as young as I used to be." My response was "I'm not as young as I used to be, but I'm not as dumb as I used to be either." It was one of those statements that just flew out my mouth. The truth of it hit me after I said it. Nope! I'm not as dumb as I used to be. Thank God! Trust me, that's cause for celebration. When I think about some of the decisions I've made, some of the "problems" I brought to myself, and some of the ways I wasted my time, it's embarrassing. The person I am today is much stronger, and wiser than I've ever been. I wouldn't trade one day of the power I have in my life now, for the ignorance of my youth. If I could back, it would be only to give my youthful self some much needed counsel. I'd tell her:

1. A minute with God is worth a multitude of friends. 
2. You are not only worth it, you are worth more.
3. You have nothing to fear.
4. You have nothing to prove.
5. Your time is your greatest asset.
6. Live humbly. 
7. Love boldly.
8. Speak wisely.          

There is a lot more I could tell her, but the younger me had a short attention span. She probably wouldn't listen beyond this point :) 

God  gave me daughters. I get to teach them everything I wished I had understood. With His mercy I'll have many more years of lessons with/for them, and many more years of learning myself. 

I'm not afraid of aging. I find ignorance more disturbing. When I celebrated my birthday, I wasn't just celebrating seeing another year. That's only part of it. I was celebrating every year that has brought me where I am today, also that I'm NOT where I was yesterday. 

Keep Talking I'm Listening

I remember hearing that it is OK to talk to yourself, as long as you are careful not to answer. I believe there is a word for people who answer themselves. Crazy. That is precisely the reason I've discouraged my daughter from the practice. What can I say? She was an only child for ten years. Let's just say she has a developed imagination. There have been times I'd follow the noise to another room. It seemed the people in that room were having such a good time. Time an time again I'd get to the room and find she was alone just talking and laughing with herself. I've accused her of being an odd bird for it. Still, the habit continues. Over the past few weeks though, the topic of talking, and listening to oneself keeps coming up. I've heard it at church. I've heard it from various speakers, and sources. It won't go away. Over the weekend I wasn't shocked to hear it yet again. Our pastor taught on exercising power over one's feelings, via fact and, talking to oneself. His message wasn't unlike the others I've heard recently, but he took it a step further. Without laying it all out, the gist of it was, far to many of us are feelings driven. We ignore the facts. We ignore faith. We follow and act on/out what we feel be it true or not.  He proposed that instead of listening exclusively to what we feel, we start talking to ourselves and tell our minds and hearts how to feel in light of faith and  facts.
Like I said this lesson is a reoccurring one so he had my full attention. Thing is, I've never considered myself a feelings driven kinda girl, but I'm female. I suppose it happens naturally. Our pastor has been about the forth person I've heard suggest talking to yourself. My mental response to him was, "yes, but that is the full picture of crazy right there." I've seen mirror mantra people and they scare me. Hey, if it's your thing, it's your thing. Something in this case is better than nothing. It's just that I don't think I'd be able to take myself seriously doing it. However, I'm beginning to see that there is truth in what I'm hearing...repeatedly. Far better than listening to yourself is talking to yourself. Far better than following a feeling, is telling yourself how you should feel based on faith and facts. Plus, I'm thrilled that I basically have a license to look, and act crazier than I currently do. I won't tell you I'm going around speaking out loud to myself, but conversations have begun. Looks like my kiddo, and the mirror mantra people were on to something all along.