Start Somewhere

Where to begin when you don’t know where to begin?

It seems an easier question to answer when it’s someone else’s life or problem. In those scenarios I rarely lack words.
“Just begin,” I say. “Start somewhere. Anywhere. Lose the first pound. Organize one area. Fill out an application. Create a résumé. Introduce yourself. Just begin.”

I find having this conversation with myself less clear.

All my life I’ve flirted with thoughts of being a writer. Full disclosure: I don’t know that I love writing as much as I love the exploration and communication of critical thoughts and ideas. Writing is simply the most effective means by which I do so. Yet, it’s hard to be faithful to a thing that is somewhat indefinable and elusive.
What makes one a writer? Is it a degree or an ability? Is it both? Is it having a bestseller or published work/s? Is it an earning amount? Or is it the frequency of, and faithfulness to writing clearly and concisely? Additionally, writing holds no guarantee of success nor any accolades for even trying it should that success fail to come. It’s hours of precious time and thought often for a solo audience. So, you could see how one could procrastinate or reason it away in favor of a more achievable, promising adventure.

At this point you might suspect that anyone wrestling with the thoughts above is neither serious nor passionate about writing. The unfaithfulness, lack of commitment and achievement, along with questions about whether to continue writing is all proof. You could be right but there is more.

There is a level of confidence innate to trying.  One must know or at least suspect they hold potential, or a product worth offering, or else why try? In pursuit of any passion we must also confront the nagging questions: Do I have what it takes to publicly succeed, or is this merely a private fascination? In a world with many offerings, what can I add? Is it worth sharing? I had similar thoughts and questions when I began this blog. I hold them still. Only it’s worse now. 

Since I began this blog, I have started and failed at not only being a consistent and successful writer (whatever that is), but in other areas as well. These experiences bolster the doubt. They fan flames of failure. And isn't that the gist of it; we fear failure. And so we procrastinate. We run to surer things. Interestingly, my detours from writing into the "safer spaces" of reliable employment, activity, and clear ability did not protect me from the failure I was attempting to avoid by escaping into them. And all the while I was still nagged by thoughts of writing.

I’ve considered these things silently. I return to this long neglected blog to ponder out loud my place in an articulate, world of conversations. Is there room for me? Is there anything new that I can add? Do I have what it takes? If so, where do I begin?

Here. 

This is my somewhere. It’s my attempt to act in faith that God gave me something to say. Perhaps this is why thoughts of writing persist.  So I obey the tug and begin.

This is my somewhere. 
 

What’s yours? Share it below and let’s do it together. I hope you will join me and begin today.