Keto Cheeto

Over the years my weight has fluctuated. Thankfully, my metabolism is somewhat high. At forty plus, I'm still close to my high school weight. I suspect that the boost in my metabolism won't last forever. I'm also a lazy clothing selector. I like going to my closet, and wearing whatever I feel. I'd rather not have to wear clothes that "make me look smaller" or my "fat clothes." I'd also rather not pack on any more pounds. With those thoughts in mind, I started looking at sustainable diets. 

A confession: I'm not a diet person. Many years ago I tried the Slim Fast Diet. Remember those things? A shake for breakfast? A shake for lunch? And a delicious meal? Yeah that. Well I did that diet and gained weight. Turns out a shake for breakfast wasn't enough. I had to have four eggs, toast, meat and cheese with it. A shake for lunch was really filling, with a burger and fries, and afternoon snacks. You get the idea. Diets are not for me. There is something about the word "no" that makes me want a thing instantly.

As I write this, half of my friends are on The Next 56 Days. It's a low carb plan. The other half is doing keto, also low carb. Many of them have had great successes with these plans. It's truly about a lifestyle change.  But low carb means I have to say "no" to something, and therein lies the problem. I love mangoes, and pineapples, and grapefruit, and apples and kiwi, and guava,  peaches, and honey dew, papayas... You see where this is going. A low carb life places restrictions on all of those things. Restrictions means "no." Some people have said, "You can have those things occasionally." Wrong. I see fruit benders in the making. Island folks cannot have fruit occasionally. In fact I'm pretty sure our blood is like ninety percent fruit juice. Going low carb would be difficult at best. 

To complicate matters, I have a very unhealthy close relationship with Cheetos. It has been my "go to" stress snack since childhood. It has helped me manage frustration, and hard days. Its crunch has been

my reward, and a relaxation technique. It's cheesy therapy in a bag.
It's fair to say I am a connoisseur of the snack.  I've tried them all. Thus far, the Simply Brand puffs are the best. Nothing comes close. Yes. I know it's not great for me. I don't even want to know what's in the white dust sprinkled on the stuff. Honestly, I'd probably eat it regardless. 
For the record, I usually prefer crunchy Cheetos. The Simply brand does make a crunchy version. It is with great reluctance that I admit, the puffs in that brand is better. Not that I'd refuse either version.

And so it goes. Every time I consider my diet, these deep and troubling thoughts loom. "How would you ever survive low carb? You cannot restrict mangoes. It is an island sin. Your grandmother would be so disappointed. Did God not know too much carbs are bad? Why oh why, did He make all of this delicious fruit? You know Keto doesn't make a Cheeto right? You hate counting anything." 
It's safe to say that I am resigned to mostly clean eating.  I'll continue to eat tons of fruit and veggies, lots of  seafood-mainly salmon because it's easily accessible and I'm part bear. I think someone like me, should just adhere to eating sensibly. I don't need a diet to tell me eating a "family sized" bag of chips in a sitting is not a good idea. At this point I'd be ahead if I just purged my diet of all the O's. Fritos. Doritos. Tostitos. And the obligatory Oreos.