Finding Faith

Certain words carry baggage. Gay. Race. God. Vote. Male. Female. It's a shame really, because those words are beautiful and innocent. They have profound meanings and implications, yet they are indistinguishable from the connotations and drama they evoke. The reactions to them are often immediate, passionate, and extreme. Whether an extremely sluggish reaction, an overreaction, silence or screams, there is hardly ever objective listening taking place once certain words are mentioned. Depending on your point of view, you almost instantly want to smack, praise, turn off or tune out the speaker.

Faith is that kind of a word. Did you instantly shut down when you read it? Don't. Let go of the baggage. Hear me out. Faith is more than church a word. Faith belongs in the public square. It affects, and infects us all. We all have it, we were born that way. Where we place that faith is the source of our differences, but we all have faith in something. We may not call it faith. It often masquerades as devotion, loyalty, dedication, hope, trust. Still, those things are usually a ruse for the measure of innate faith we all possess. Where we spend our time, and invest our thoughts is often the area we've esteemed most faith worthy. It could be in ourselves, our relationships, our gods, our finances, abilities, goals, activities, career and more. It could be invested in one main source, or spread thinly over several sources.
The latter is what most people do. They place faith in all the pots in their lives, no matter how shallow. Our money. Our jobs. Our relationships. Ourselves. It is a combination of a little here, a little there, tucked in away in what we feel will help us most in a time of need.

Untold is that a little faith in many places amounts to no real faith at all. If a thing is truly worthy of faith, it requires a total investment. All in. That's what God wants. He wants all our faith. He deserves it. In fact, we are told that "without faith it is impossible to please Him." Furthermore, Jesus marveled at one thing and one thing only: faith. Remember how He said that all the commandments hinged on two: love God and love others? Likewise, all He told us to do here hinges on at least one thing: faith in Him. Jesus said mustard seed sized faith can move mountains. Mountains.

Faith is the currency of Heaven. I believe it is why Jesus did works when He walked the earth, not to increase His faith. He already knew He could heal the sick, raise the dead, walk on water, curse a fig tree, and all the rest. He did it to increase our faith, the faith of those who followed Him, and would one day follow Him. Yes, He wants our works, but only as a product of faith.
Jesus, God, is also the only one being honest about it. Everything and everyone in your life wants your faith. They just won't say so. Every commercial you see wants you to put some faith in the words you heard and in the product being sold. Every relationship you have is conditioned on the amount trust/faith you have in a person. Remove faith from your life and you'd do and have very little.

The faith of a person determines control. Destiny. This is why its placement is important. It needs to be in something eternally secure. Immutable. God is the only one who guarantees He does not change. To invest in any other but God is to invest in the uncontrollable, the random, the change. It is to pursue insecurity, to partner with inconsistency, and align oneself with the unfaithful.
Faith in other sources leaves us bound to the unstable and with a product that can fall apart, shake, change and shift just like its source. It is subject to the powers, or lack of power of the one, or thing that possesses our faith. This is why God must have our faith, and why He proved He is love. Perfect. All good. If He were not, He's no more deserving of our faith than any unstable, selfish person/thing which bends, breaks, shifts, and changes. God's proven, perfect love is the collateral for our faith. His faithfulness secures our own faith. He can be entrusted with our faith, because He has done everything to earn it.
If you place your faith on other areas, you can be successful, you can fail, or be misled, but you will also be controlled. Faith in anyone or anything, gives it power and control. That is why you must put your faith in something or someone who doesn't seek to selfishly control you, but one who knows you, loves you, and wants to complete you. Despite what you've been told, or feel, God's love does not seek to control you. If He did, He would not need your permission or consent to do so. Instead, your creator seeks to fulfill you, to make you whole. That will not change. You can trust Him with your faith.

God knows and does what's best for us. He wants us to be able to withstand the storms of life. He doesn't want us to be shifted, carried away with every wind. He wants us to be stable not tossed by the waves. In and on Him, is the only solid place to stand. He's the only foundation that cannot change. He is flawless. Forever. Perfection needs no improvements, and so He is constant. Everything and everyone else must change. Always. Thus, faith in anyone or anything else leaves us subject to their change. To invest elsewhere is to invite a shift. It is investment in instability. When the shift comes will you be able to withstand it?

How many people are affected when the stock market corrects itself, a child strays, a spouse leaves, someone dies etc.? Those are hard things. They hurt. They also reveal the true location and whereabouts of our faith. In Him is the only place we can invest faith and have a guaranteed return and growth no matter happens in our environment . He promised to those who have, more will be added. In exchange for you faith you will get more faith. It's a "win win."
A wise man builds his house on a rock. When the elements test it, there is no movement of him in the storm, because there is no movement in his God. Indeed the elements come to reveal the location of our faith. Trial is an opportunity to examine and correct any faulty faith investments. Are we steadfast, and immovable? That's He wants for us. It's the power of faith in Him. Even in the hardest times, it will cause us thrive in Him. Only in Him. He is the only one not affected by circumstance. He's a sure foundation. Of all the areas we can place our faith, God, is easily the best offer out there.

I dream of living on a farm. No mortgage, I'm also a fan of being prepared. I wouldn't say that I'm a prepper, but I'd love to dabble. If I'm not careful, that's a dream that could steal my faith. Perhaps that is why God has me living on a patch of land in the city. It would be ever so easy to put faith in my food supply, and financial supply.
If you loose your life for my sake you'll find it. That is His promise. So, even my beautiful country dream pales in comparison to the offer of the cross. If I "find my life" in my fortified house, and my food supply over God's provisions and protection, I've lost my only true security.

Faith in ability has led many to overcome adversity and achieve dreams. Faith in a cause has led others to set people free. Faith in finances have led many to wealth, and poverty. Faith is effective. Potent. That's true no matter what your faith is in. Faith or the lack of thereof, is also the driving force behind the work of our lives. Faith in ourselves, our money, our abilities causes us to work in and on those areas, because faith without works is dead. Wherever you place your faith, your works will follow. That's true no matter what our faith is in.
This is why I believe that faith in anyone or anything but God is pointless. Ultimately, it will result in the death of both the faith and the works because it is an inferior, degenerating alternative. It doesn't give life. I can't recall the amount of stories I've heard of dying millionaires asking for more time. I believe the wisdom of years taught them and invaluable lesson: It is not what you have that matters, it is what you do with what you have. This lesson perfectly relates to faith, because what you do in life flows from your system of faith/beliefs. What these people are really asking for is the time to correct errors in their faith that will bring a change to their actions, how they work and spend their years.
So, what do you believe in? What do you know from your soul? You will work all your days based on those beliefs. Do you really want to be working your entire life thinking financial security, or a relationship is the answer, only to find out you were deeply wrong?
I think we all know that faith in unstable things is not wise. Yet, faith in other sources comes easily to us. I believe the enemy makes this so. He keeps us distracted. He hides truth. He offers us shiny things to blind us to the substantive things of God. He makes fear to arise in everything and causes faith to feel impossible. Unattainable. He is still a liar. Faith in God is still our greatest defense against Him.

Faith is not a magic pill. It is a choice to believe God over all else. It is the decision to believe God despite what is seen. It is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Fortunately, it is not a feeling, or we'd never have any. It is an invitation to choose. It is the choice to believe and act on God's wisdom, vision, power. It is a belief in GOD"S way over all else come what may. That is what the enemy doesn't want us to have and know. He doesn't care if we are gifted, he can use that. He doesn't care if we are loved, he can use that. The only thing that he cannot use or have is anything completely given to God. That is especially true of our faith in God. Once you give your faith to God you have in one action surrendered everything to God. Satan cannot take back what belongs to God. He cannot use our faith in God. He tries, but faith in God cannot be overcome. He tries instead to get us not to have it, to doubt, to fear, and mainly to waste our days placing it elsewhere.
It's a run out the clock situation. He doesn't mind if we have a little faith in God, PLUS other things. As long as we don't place all our faith in Jesus, Hell wins. Our enemy knows it's best to keep us from ever getting to a place of surrendering total faith in God, because once we do the entire Kingdom of Heaven is unleashed in us on earth. We become unstoppable, and cause others to follow...and He'll be on the run. Powerless over us. So, he keeps us circling the field of faith, looking over the fence and admiring the fine building faith can build, but never entering. How tragic to stay in the field of but never enter and build the house of faith! Many live this way, with the power at their fingers, but fail to press go. Straddling the fence on any issue isn't really neutral. It's being neutralized. No power. He who straddles the fence is uncomfortable. Be filled to overflowing I beg you, don't settle for scraps when you can a full and wonderful meal.

Paul said He lived by the faith of the Son of God. Can you imagine that? Was Jesus ever defeated? To live by that kind of faith is to live worry free. Anxiety free. Victorious. Don't you want that? You can have that. Trust but God. Make that decision now. Give Him ALL your faith. Don't take it back. He doesn't take back the cross. Will things get hard? Guaranteed! Choose to believe especially then. Forget what you feel. Learn what God said. Live by it. That's truth. Trust it. Your enemy speaks to flesh. Flesh runs on how it feels. The spirit has power over the flesh. Believe in your heart all of it, all of what God says. God loves you. He died for you. He gave you the riches of Heaven. Experience them here. Faith unlocks that experience. Live free. Live by faith in Him. Live!



Reset. Ready. Go!

There is some strange and delicate balance between ample effort and adequate rest. I have struggled to find it. There are days when I am altogether pleased with my accomplishments. There is a certain peace in the pride accompanying that. I find purpose and fulfillment in productive days. I've never been proud of a rest day. I've been excited about having one, but never proud. This realization makes me uncomfortably aware of the edge I've assigned to personal efforts.

Lately, I've been navigating a slump. I'm reaching for something indefinable. How to attain it is even more elusive. All I know is I want to do more with whatever God given time and abilities I possess. I want to learn, and grow. This desire comes coupled with a sense of urgency. It's given birth to intrigue and frustration. How do you begin something quickly when you don't know what it is?  It's a deserted junction. There are no answers here. There is just a desperation to begin something grand, and to use rest as a force to do so. The latter seems more daunting. It's an incredibly foreign idea. It perfectly suits this foreign terrain I'm traversing. It has directed my focus to the disparity between God's power and human effort.
In my nearly forty years, I have yet to feel like I'm doing "it." I have those moments, and I do feel more that way in some pockets of my life than others. However, there are those pockets that are empty. What does it take to be completely fulfilled, and running over? Perhaps it's idealistic, but I want that. I completely believe that we were all given talents. Those talents work in concert for the salvation, and betterment of mankind. To die without exhausting those gifts is an absolute tragedy, and robbery. Who knows what we could have done, and who we could have affected? What treasures are we sitting on, hiding? Perhaps we are not meant to change the world in one swift action, but if we can bring about supernatural changes in our individual worlds, we change the world by ripple effect extension.
It seems I can define what I want after all. Apparently, I want world domination. I want my world dominated by the love of God in and though me via the talents He's placed in me. There! Does that sound like too much to ask? Truly, it's not. It depends on who I'm asking. If I ask it of myself, and my efforts, it's impossible. If I ask it of the Lord, no problem. He has absolute power, and it literally makes all the difference in the world.  It's not my job to figure out how it gets done. He's the one who promised to do more than we could ask or/imagine-Ephesians 3:20. I'm not afraid to ask, and He's given me a big imagination. I believe He's going to exceed it.

I thought not write this. I did because I promised you truth.  This is not for everyone. I don't know where you are, but I am at the beginning of a journey. Perhaps you are too. Mine requires that I rest from human effort to go forward. I hope you are wise and discover what yours requires of you. Regardless, you are invited to join me. Pray with/for me. Let's agree with God together.
I cannot do this by human effort. It's unattainable. I have to begin where He tells me, and that is to begin by resting in Him. This is new to me. Rest to pursue. It's contradictory. Earlier I called it foreign. It is. It's Kingdom of Heaven foreign, and He has been saying all along.
Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. I believe this literally means, He (GOD) will give you desires, as in place them in your heart and He will bring those desires to pass.
What do I do with my now? My life? Where? How? When Lord? These can be overwhelming questions. The answer is still the same. Start by trusting God. Do what He says. Delight in Him. Seek His kingdom first -Matthew 6:33. That begins the change in our own little kingdoms. Want to change our world? Then we must confront and change our thinking. Sure, work, but only according to His will, and not to the detriment of our delight in Him. It's absolute transfer of trust from our own abilities to the limitless possibilities of God. This truly is the beginning of God's greatness in us.

So this is where you me find today. I've slowed. I'm settling in and catching my breath in a race that requires I run it with patience. It is not a power sprint of human effort. It is an endurance event. It requires rest, renewal and conservation of energy where necessary. This rest is not passive. It requires resilience. It is not a call to laziness. It is a call to listen, to learn, to watch, to pray, and then to do things God's way. It is His "Kingdom come" to earth. It is a journey in patience. It is powered by trust and peace in the absolute love and goodness of the all wise, powerful God. I work where He shows me, but a vital exchange has finally been made. I lay aside the work of my hands. I rest in Him and the complete work of His hands.

 

"Blog-Sliding"

 

 

I have what some might call a "religious background." I'm not a fan of the label, but I'm not ashamed of a relationship with my Creator. Just be forewarned that very now and then a "churchy" term will escape my brain, spew out my fingers and flaunt itself scandalously here.

"Backsliding" is a term used in church circles to describe those who begin something with God and revert back to old patterns and behavior. I've done that with my blog. I'm blog slidden. Fortunately, I'm not aware of any eternal ramifications of "blog-sliding." Just in case; I have abandoned my ways of blog dereliction and plan to be faithful in the future. I hope my five followers can forgive me. Hey mom. Hey sis, and three stangers whoever you are.

 

One last thing while I'm confessing...I'll also give credit where it is due. I learned something from Shia Labeouf. You don't have to be a sage to spew the profound. No doubt this video has been seen, laughed at, and made made more rounds than a rollercoaster. Still, I like it. I'll take wisdom where I find it. Thank you. The last last line of this clip is mega epic.  "If you are tired of starting over, stop giving up." Ok, sir Shia.  No more giving up for me...not even on blogs that only few read. I'm all in...to the end. Let's see where this road leads...

 

If you've lost sight of, or lost connection to a passion, join me. Don't give up. Do it for the integrity of your soul.  

Here's some truth brought to you by Shia. I'm including it in case you are the one person on the planet that has yet to see the video. Enjoy.

 

 



Living the Dream...Still

I know, I know it's been a while. I could give good reasons why, but that would make this post much longer. Instead I'll try to do better, and dive into the (short version) of what I've been up to. 

May -I've wanted to take take my girls on a trip for a while. In May I did. Long story short, It wasn't a long trip, nor do I regret it, but travelling with daddy is a much better experience. 

June -I took on a leadership role. OK, that might not sound like a big one, but for me it's HUGE! My comfort zone is the background. It's not that I lack leadership potential, I just have a strong preference not to be in the forefront of anything. Of all the things I've done this year, this was the most nerve wracking. It also happened to be the most rewarding. 

July -After years of hearing about and "meaning to" I met a sibling for the very first time. It wasn't until after our time together, that I realized, I didn't take a picture. God willing, next time.

Now that we are all caught up... I'm back!

Living the Dream: April

OK, we are past April and May. It's June people! This post is overdue. I will go ahead and admit that April's adventure/accomplishment has nothing to do with me.

For sometime now I have wanted to get my 13 year old more involved in physical activity. She'd try it sporadically, but never committed. To me the greatest thing about exercise, is the way it affects my mood. She's been a bit blue lately. Thank you puberty/hormones! Anyhow, I've been encouraging her for some time to get outdoors, and get active. She didn't resist, but she never made it a priority until recently. Sometime (in April) she discovered (on her own) that she liked this working out stuff. I'm not saying she's out there everyday, or even that she is doing anything intense. Actually, all she does is power walk while she's listening to music on her iPod. I'm just excited that she is moving, and that she is self motivated.

When I was a kid we didn't need to make ourselves workout.  Playing outdoors was as natural as eating a meal, and believe me when I tell you, that was all the exercise we needed! Over the years outdoor play seems a lost art. Electronics rule the roost. To counter that, I've made myself an example where fitness is concerned. Thing is, I know that I could never force her into becoming active. She needed to see it, and enjoy it. It looks like she has. Her steps (literally) in the right direction has made this "fitness aware" mom happy. I see it as an investment in her very bright future.

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Easter

So it's been a few weeks since I've posted the happenings from in and around my world. A lot can happen in two weeks. Too much to tell. That is why I will only tell you what's on my mind right now. I'm still giddy over Easter! It is hands down my favorite holiday. This year as I reflected on the death and Resurrection of Jesus, I just couldn't help but think on the kind of life He lived. He lived a life worthy of a sacrificial death. Had he been just another man, He would have only been dying for himself. No story there. However, because He NEVER did one wrong thing in 33 years on this earth (that astounds me) He was counted worthy to die for the sins of all, and also worthy to rise again. This is power unfathomable. It's more than a good deal. It's a God deal. I am a deeply grateful beneficiary of this exchange. As such, I had a wonderful time remembering, and celebrating the most significant event in the history of man. It is the "happy ending" and "happily ever after" to the story of all mankind. Every year it means more to me. I hope yours was a good one. I hope you got a chance to celebrate and thank God for the true meaning of Easter.

Living the Dream: March

I did not intentionally set out to find what I did last month. It found me. For quite some time I have wanted to try a running group. I enjoy my solo runs; however I have found that running with someone faster than I am improves my pace. Thing is, I've never been the group fitness type. No offense to the packs, if that's your thing, do you. I find that I motivate me. Company not necessary. Plus, I never wanted to get in the habit of only exercising with people, associating the two and then come to depend it. There are many benefits to working out with others. It's not like you have to choose one or the other. You can have a balance of both. For the sake of this post though just know that I'm kind of a loner.

Earlier this month I met a lady and through small talk found out she ran. It was all downhill from there. She told me about a group that she'd been running with. They meet three times a week to encourage, motivate, support each other, and of course to run. She invited me to try it. If you are not familiar, know that when people call themselves "a runner" that covers a wide range. Anything from a sub 5 minute mile to over a 15 minute mile could be a "runner."  I wanted to find out what I was getting into. I asked about their pace. She said they have "all pace ranges." Vague answer, but given I've been curious about these groups for years, I figured I'd try it. I was restless the night before. I'm usually nervous/anxious the night before a race type event. I had that seem feeling the night before I met the group.These ladies meet to run at 5 am. Even if they are not serious athletes, or fast, it takes commitment to keep meeting at that time. In my head though, I pictured showing up to run with gazelles.

This is my second week running with the group. No gazelles, but I have enjoyed the company more than I thought I would. It's a nice break from the norm. I'm not sure I'll be running with this group long term, but I have enjoyed the experience thus far. Plus, meeting to exercise and pray with like-minded people is not a bad way to start of the day.