It Came to Pass...

I've never been fond of team sports. Too much is beyond my control. The one sport I did participate in- track and field- was what I consider an "individual team sport." Though part of a whole, my races were solo. Even in team efforts like relays, my splits could be timed. The weakest link could easily be uncovered. I wouldn't say I'm competitive, but if you score a victory over me, believe me you earned it. I'm not giving it to you. You will work for it.

Consider it a kindness. I'm doing you a favor, making you better. There is no honor in defeating an unworthy opponent. I want you at your best. I'm going to give you my best as a teammate, and as a rival.  As a competitor, I want to dethrone a king. Otherwise, the win is a shallow one. Beating  someone of inferior skills is a yawn. Either win like a champion, or lose as a warrior, but give it your best.

I've learned that not everyone shares, or appreciates this frame of mind. It has been the main reason I dislike competing as part of a team. I'm committed to giving my all. If I see you working half-heartedly, that's gonna be a problem for me. Those people who say, "we'll do better next time" are my natural enemies opposites. There is no next time. There's only today. No regrets. Leave it all on the floor. Die there if you have to. This is my mentality. 

Now imagine my utter shock upon discovering that I had managed to produce a child whose philosophy is "it's ok. You don't have to win. That's not the most important thing. You tried, and you had a good time, that's all that matters..." 

Say what now? That's a lie from her father's side of the gene pool. We play to win!

Despite this, my rebel offspring has taught me a few things. There is a certain leadership quality in losing. There is a strength and dignity in it. Obviously, there's ample opportunity for humility and growth in it. These are invaluable qualities. We don’t applaud losers in sports, but maybe we should reevaluate that practice in life. It takes a ton of strength to fail, and keep trying. I've come to appreciate, and even respect it. It's a fighter's spirit.

A few weeks ago, I was at a low point. Hormones did not help. I was in tears over something trivial. In the midst of that, this question came to mind:

"Why are you crying over circumstances that will change?" 

As I pondered the question the power of it hit me. Despite the way they may feel, my circumstances are never eternal. They are temporary. I always survive them. So, why assign them such power? A phrase followed the thought. "It came to pass.."

I could bore you to tears listing all of the times those words are mentioned in the Bible. I know what it means. It's like saying, "after a while..." But a more literal interpretation of it is what stayed with me. It came, to pass- as in this situation came, just to make an exit. Much like a hurricane it can be fierce, but then it's going to blow on out.  It's not here to stay. It came to pass by. It will be gone soon. And there I was, shedding tears over something that didn't come to linger, something that couldn't out live or outlast me. Unless I gave it power, it would be gone and forgotten soon enough. Looking at it in that way, the emotions seemed a bit ridiculous. 

Now, why am I telling you all of this? I think too many times we portray ourselves as masters of our domain when nothing could be further from the truth. We are more like disasters of our domain, or survivors of it. We all have a mentality, and an image we tend to project, protect or live by. But sometimes the image doesn't work. The mentality fails. It leaves us feeling lost. Unstable. I want you to know that it is perfectly okay to be a nightmare on legs. You don't always have to be in control. In fact, that's the exact recipe for disaster. You won't always win at everything. That's okay too. You can acknowledge your shortcomings, while still holding on to hope. Know that you won't always fail, be down, depressed or discouraged. Those moments came to pass. What's more, circumstances don't dictate the joy in your life.

In the fitness world much is made of cross-training. It is the practice of adding variety to your workout program. You work your muscles in a way that is different, but complimentary to your normal routine. The goal is to eliminate muscle imbalances, by diversifying your training. This will vary depending on your sport. A biker or runner might take up swimming to avoid having strong legs, and a weak upper body. They are still training, still working hard, and still earning the results. They are just doing it in a different way. Working from a different angle. It makes them stronger in their preferred sport.
 Failure is the cross-training of life. Often we are so fixated on traditional and societal ideas of success, we neglect to see the opportunity in it. Failure is not the way we ever expect to prepare to win, but it is vital training nonetheless. It is simply training from another angle. When it is over, we will return to our pursuits, visions, and dreams stronger, and more courageous because of it.

The next time you are faced with failure, see it as more than an enemy, it can be an accessory. If it has to happen to you, make it work for you. Remember one day it will in fact pass. In the meantime, there are good things happening in you, around you, and on your behalf. That's not wishful thinking. It is my faith in God for you. He makes no mistakes. If you are still here, it is because the flawless wisdom of God has decided it, and makes it so. If you are winning at life right now, great! But if you happen to be struggling, don't lose heart, or hope. Change is coming. These moments are just that, moments. Don't let them become the whole story. They came to pass. Don't make hasty decisions based on them, and cause them to hang around longer. Don't allow them to be a bigger part of your story than necessary. Use them to cross train, and move on.
Keep fighting, but know that if you don't win, it's truly ok. Consider it a part of your fitness routine. Surviving losses, and failures is a victory of its own.  

 *For the sake of my reputation, this post will self-destruct...